I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
