What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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