ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
