Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
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There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
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Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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