dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
