This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"