I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
