we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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