I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
