Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
