Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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