i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
