well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
sarcasm needs its own font
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
