I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
