You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
