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• (586): View more from Michigan

  One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.

  (586): View more from Michigan

  She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.

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• (707): View more from California

  We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.

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• (858): View more from California

  Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...

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• (716): View more from New York

  Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.

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