Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
