Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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