is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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