i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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