dude i'm inner monologue high
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
