remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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