It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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