That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
