We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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