Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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