Pants 0. Shit 1.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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