I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
