I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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