I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
a search helicopter?!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
