I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
