I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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