someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
