Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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