Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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