In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize