Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
