I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
