i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Come see our sink grown plant.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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