my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
