I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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