I'm so fucking centered right now
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
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She's like a pop up book from hell.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
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We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.