If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book