i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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