We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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