He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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