I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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