All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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