I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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