remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize