we're blogging at a bar
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
