Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
