I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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