I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Damn victory sex feels great
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
