somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
