if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
