my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
God I need to hump something, right now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
