Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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