he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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