you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
