North Korea, Best Korea!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
why do cheetos always look like penises
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
