barbara walters just said penis...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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