He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
your like the ambassador to my penis.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize