are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
