I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
